The Fall of Chewing Gum

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Dear Major Chewing Gum Makers,

Oh…Hum-
So…Glum-
No…Yum-
In my Gum

Not EVERYONE likes artificial sweeteners in their gum. I know this for a fact because I really had to pee today while at the grocery storeā€¦but I held it (barely, cuz ya’ll know I got Incontinence) because I was listening to a woman who talked to me for 15 minutes about the Fall of Chewing Gum. I totally agreed with her.
It seems like a lot of gum has *stuff* in it. I looked at about 20 packs today and saw ingredients that my body just doesn’t like šŸ˜¦ Sometimes, you don’t have to change things. Just keep Big Red…Big Red! Oh, and trust me, I don’t need another new flavor. Pink flavor is good enough for me even if it only lasts for 6 seconds. If I want to taste deep dish apple pie a la modeā€¦.I would eat a piece of deep dish apple pie a la mode. Just give me a choice between real sugar and fake sugarā€¦that’s all. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Me & the random lady in the grocery store