The Picker

I looked at her
She looked back at me
Her eyes
Like a sharp knife
Wanting to slice me
She wanted to cut me
So Deep
So that I would peer down
At my bleeding & gaping flesh
And gasp-
To look away
From her…
But I didn’t
I stared you down
Like a dirty cowboy
With my boots in the dust
And tumbleweeds blowing in the wind
I saw you
Little girl
Pick your nose
And then eat your booger



Not Feelin’ These Buns :(

I have a lot of love for this particular baking company (cuz they make some very good cookies) BUT dayum, these onion hamburger buns that they make, well, look…gross.  I’m sure they taste good (and I do admit, they felt baby butt soft) but I just can’t get into any bun that looks like it got “smooshed” with some picnic ants.


Toothpaste vs Me

Crest MultiCare Whitening toothpaste

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday, at Walmart, I stood in the toothpaste aisle contemplating which one to buy for exactly 23 minutes.  I know it was for 23 minutes because I wasthisclose to not being on time to pick up my kids from school.  Pretty sad. I don’t even stand in the cereal aisle that long and there are tons of boxes with really cool characters on them. When I was young, I used Close-Up because it reminded me of lip gloss. I would pucker my lips and smear a big glob on my lips then try to pose like a model. After about 2 minutes, my lips would start to tingle and burn and I would wash it off and go to bed. Come to think of it, I never actually BRUSHED my teeth with the Close-Up, which is probably why my former dentist has a summer-house in Florida paid by…Moi. Cavities and Root Canals ain’t cheap ya’ll. Oh well. Anyway, now that I have children (and realize that prevention IS the key) I’m very diligent about visiting the dentist regularly and being proactive (nag ) the kids about their teeth brushing which they’re supposed to do for a whole 2 minutes!  Of course, this never happens unless I’m standing in the doorway.  They even have singing Lion King toothbrushes that tell them how long to brush.  Unfortunately, I have yet to hear Simba sing “Hakuna Matata” in its entirety.  Who cuts short one of the best songs ever?  My kids!  Anyway, what I don’t understand is that we can send people to the moon but can’t develop a toothpaste that actually TASTES good?  Why can’t they make a vanilla cupcake or strawberry pie with whipped cream flavored toothpaste so people would actually look forward to brushing ?  I mean if we can make a tortilla chip that taste like Cheese, Ranch or Late Night Drive Thru Tacos, why does *Sparkling Mint* have to taste like crap?