Big Boy’s Booty

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Jenny, I know YOUR number…BUT I don’t know MINE!

Ok…so if remember the song “867-5309” by Tommy Tutone, you’ll understand this blog post. It also means…you’re old. I’m totally kidding. Anyway, for all you young whippersnappers out there, it was some lame ass song (sorry Tommy) that came out in 1982 and basically repeated some chick’s phone number (her name was Jenny) over and over…and over again. Now as much as I dislike that song, I realized that it was released into the Earth’s atmosphere for a purpose, to serve the people of 2012. So, that it could help them…to guide them…help them remember their mama’s phone number!

Case in point.

The year is 1982…somewhere in Ohio

Me: My mom needs your phone number, so I can go to your house for the sleepover.

Best Friend: We are going to talk about boys

Me: My mom needs your phone number, so I can go to your house for the sleepover. Really?

Best Friend: Yes. And freeze the bra of the person that falls asleep the first.

Me : Okay, but my mom needs your phone number, so I can go to your house for the sleepover. Really?

Best Friend: Yes. It’s 786-4308

I remember the number because I sing it in my head like Tommy Tutone. I go to the party and freeze Becky Y’s bra. Oh, and dip Pam C.’s hand in warm water so she will pee in her sleeping bag. Oops. The point is I remembered the number because I sang it in my head (thanks Tommy.)

Now…

The year is 2012…somewhere in Virginia

Best Friend: I need my cell phone number quickly….signing papers, what is it?

Me: Silence (you can hear crickets)

Best Friend: Seriously, Kat, I need it, like, now!

Me: Um, I don’t know it. I usually just press your name

Best Friend: So, you really don’t know it?

Me: No…wait, don’t you know it?

Best Friend: Um…No.

Me: Wait, you don’t know your OWN cell phone number?

Best Friend: No. Well, I NEVER call myself!

Now back to Tommy. You had a really good concept there and the best part is it works! For those who can’t remember numbers or decided to make writing in an address book a thing of the past, all you gotta do is sing that crap to remember it. You might look stupid singing a number out in public, but at least you will know your mama’s cell phone number…

By the way…it 907-324…just kidding…Mom!

Wowza, you got a BIG Tator…

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Dear Jason’s Deli,

Thank you for taking a dud
And making it a stud
Add some chili & cheese
And some onion, please
I only paid a buck seven
For a lil piece of heaven

Thank you
Jason’s Deli
For making my night, pretty dayum good

Yours faithfully,
Kat

This Look? Two Words…

School Supplies

Seriously, I almost drop kicked another mama for a 1.5 inch white binder with 3 rings and a purple Hello Kitty backpack…

Things can get nasty when that school supply list comes out.

Just sayin…

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Is it Ambien? Or is it Amy?

I just took my Ambien CR, which means I have exactly 12 minutes until I am knocked out like Apollo Creed ( I just took 2 minutes trying to think of a boxing reference.)
10 minutes left…
I have learned to turn off all electronics BEFORE taking my Ambien…cuz there ain’t nothing like waking up the next morning and seeing what you wrote while medicated. Delete. DELETE!
7 minutes left…
But, I couldn’t resist this…and it might be just a pre Ambien hallucination, but doesn’t the Karo Syrup baby look eerily like Amy Poehler? Hmmm.
Okay…
2 minutes
Goodnight 🙂

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I still love ya, but you just a BIG Boo

A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog a https://mycrazycolon.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/you-will-always-be-in-my-heart-just-not-in-my-tummy/ about Wendy’s and my allegiance to them since they basically gave me my first real paycheck (and introduced me to FICA… *_*)
Unfortunately, the other day, a tragedy occurred. I forgot all the knowledge that I acquired from my fast food days. As a former FF specialist employee, there are three things that you learn from working in such an establishment that will help you get a better eating experience.

#1. Modify your food. No onions, add extra pickles will help you get a “fresher” item. Sometimes.
#2. If you see one bug, chances are there are two. Three. You get the picture. Run for the door.
#3. Check your bag BEFORE you pull from the drive-thru. ALWAYS

I failed to do number 3 on my last trip to Wendy’s.

This is what I got this

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Really?

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Yes, I should have checked…but, again, really?

What made it worse was that my dried up cheeseburger came in this bag and this drink.

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Come on! Where is the juiciness? Where is the freshness? Where is the cheese? Cuz that looks like a yellow piece of construction paper. And yes, I know not every Wendy's quality is low but dang, someone in management had to see this turd of a sandwich. And even though the drive BACK to Wendy's cost more in gas than the actual burger, I felt like I had to do it. For Wendy.