A Plumber’s Burger Booty

I haven’t been on WordPress for a bit….but had to post this….
I won’t name the restaurant
But doesn’t this burger look like a butt?

And I wasn’t even on Ambien

It’s a Plumber’s Burger Booty

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No, to Mopping. Yes, to Pee :)

I hate mopping.
I rather wipe crusty yellow pee from the inside of a toilet rim than to mop the kitchen floor.
Yup.
So…
As an incentive…to mop
I promised my 2 kids
$20 A PIECE!
If they wake up tomorrow morning
And the floor is NOT cleaned.

Hello-
24 hour ATM!
Cuz…it ain’t gonna happen

Goodnight 🙂

Why Eggnog is Evil

Unfortunately, at the holiday office party last night, the spiked eggnog made you think that you could sing, “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer,” like Mariah Carey.

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You were wrong.

Not Feelin’ These Buns :(

I have a lot of love for this particular baking company (cuz they make some very good cookies) BUT dayum, these onion hamburger buns that they make, well, look…gross.  I’m sure they taste good (and I do admit, they felt baby butt soft) but I just can’t get into any bun that looks like it got “smooshed” with some picnic ants.

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Hillbilly Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween
Ain’t that a dandy?
But cuz of my lost tooth
I can’t eat no candy
What should my costume be
Maybe a country bumpkin?
Or should I just smile
And look like a pumpkin?

Damn…

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I wanna buy a Lazy Boy…Sure you do *wink wink*

When I saw this particular billboard on a recent trip, I immediately wanted to go out and buy a piece of furniture. Seriously, I did… because I always think of a rustic 5 piece dining room set when I see a pretty young blond woman with a pouty smile.

Ps…if this happens to be your billboard, kudos to you for great advertising and no disrespect. Oh, curious…do you guys sells chests? Get it? 🙂

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Raid will get them Suckas every time…

Sometimes a nursery rhyme should tell the truth….enjoy 🙂

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Oh…and one for the road

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after
Which is unfortunate
Because now their insurance premiums will go up