Not Feelin’ These Buns :(

I have a lot of love for this particular baking company (cuz they make some very good cookies) BUT dayum, these onion hamburger buns that they make, well, look…gross.  I’m sure they taste good (and I do admit, they felt baby butt soft) but I just can’t get into any bun that looks like it got “smooshed” with some picnic ants.

bread

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Pringles Smingles

Why is there such a thing as Multi-grain Pringles?  I understand being health conscious and all…but I mean if you’re going to indulge in some chips, don’t you want them to taste like chips? If you want Multi-grain…isn’t that what wheat bread is for?

Wonder Bread

I have insomnia
I can’t sleep…
I am a little hungry too.
I am waiting…for this Lunesta to kick in-
I wish I had some Potted Meat
I used to eat that…ALL…the time as a kid
Although
I always thought…
It kinda looked and smelled like cat food-
But boy, it sure tasted good on some soft
White Wonder Bread.
Speaking of bread…
I hated getting the” heel”
I don’t know what the proper name is
But its the brown piece on the end…
It was always thin & flat…not cool & fluffy like the other pieces in the loaf
I wonder if the other slices…made fun of him?
I wonder if the other slices…teased him?
Saying…
That he would never experience the joy of having peanut butter spread on his back
Or potted meat
Or Miracle Whip
Or butter
My sister and I…always got nervous…when my Mom opened
a fresh loaf of bread…
Especially…if she was making sandwiches for school
because that meant a double whammy…for one of us.
Not only did you get stuck with the “heel”…but you had to eat it in front your friends.
I would pray…silently
“Please…don’t let it be me.”
“Please take 2 slices in the middle.”
Because…everyone knows…”you” + “heel” = LOSER