I’m Not Catholic…But I Have a Confession

Recently, I found out some information concerning the FDA clinical study that would hopefully help my Colonic Inertia.  I was told that it will take some time to get everything organized, but they hope to start the study in January 2012.  Yup!  Can you say Super Excited?!  Oh, and you wanna know something else?  I am scared as hell.  Seriously.  The other day, one of my best friends asked me if someone created a man-made fully functional stomach…would I want one.  I answered her quickly with a “Heck, No!”  She looked at me like I was crazy until I explained to her that because I haven’t had a stomach for three years; it would be a hard adjustment for me to go back to a normal way of eating.  When she asked me that question, it made me realize that if the FDA treatment does works for me, I will (hopefully) have a fully functioning colon for the first time since May 2009…and I’m not sure how I feel…just being honest.  You would think I would be doing cartwheels…but I have no idea how to live without a stomach & gallbladder AND a working colon.  I have no idea how my body will react or what to expect.  I do know that I feel extremely blessed for the opportunity, because I know there is someone out there who would love to be in my shoes and I also know feeling better and having a better quality of life trumps being scared any day of the week.  A couple of years ago, I watched a documentary featuring women with eating disorders.  A woman said that recovery was so hard because she was used to her illness, she knew what to expect…she didn’t want to change…her illness was comfortable.  I didn’t understand how she could feel that way…until now.  I now understand why she felt that way…because changing can sometimes lead you down the road to visit a lil place called…The Unknown. I know right now I might be a little worried about visiting there…but Health trumps Fear…Any Day…so my bags are already packed…and besides I know that I’ve been down that road many times in my life and I have always found my way…back home.



One thought on “I’m Not Catholic…But I Have a Confession

  1. Well, this is exciting news! I understand what you are saying through, about the question your friend ask you about the stomach. To you living without a stomach and a non-functioning colon is your normal. So going back would be “foreign”, as well as ALL the other unknowns that come with it…but if you ever do what to try out a new man made stomach I know a top doctor in Winston-Salem, NC at Wake Forest Medical Center name Dr. Ken Koch who is actually working on just this! He is one of the top gastroparesis doctor in the USA! 😉

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