Her breathing is quick and raspy
And so is mine
We look over at each other
Our eyes lock
There are tears in our eyes
I hold out my hand
She holds out hers
Our fingers touch…briefly
She is going through withdraw…She says. Just breathe…I say
I am going through dumping…I say. Just breathe…She says
I don’t know anything about drugs…I say
And I have never heard about dumping…She says
Our giggles break up the awkwardness
I look at her, out the corner of my eye.
I know she is looking at me too.
She is thin…because she doesn’t want to eat…she’s not hungry. Ever.
I am thin…because I can’t eat…I am hungry. Always
She takes drugs…to feel better
I take drugs…to feel better
How funny. Two women. So different. Yet the same.
She tells me about the 1st time the needle pierced her skin…
It was ecstasy, she says
I tell her about the 1st time the needle pierced my skin…
It was scary, I say
We talk in whispers. We tell our stories.
We looked at each other…weak smiles on our faces
We turn away. Here comes the rubber tube
Both of our arms stretch out, towards each other…but not touching
We close our eyes as we hear the squeaky sound
Of the rubber tube being tied tightly on our arms
Her tube tied to find a vein.
My tube tied to find a vein.
We both felt the prick
Yeah, see ya…She whispers
We breathe…then surrendered
To the darkness
I wake up groggy…and hungry
But feeling better
I look over
She is gone
I pray for her
Then I smile
Because I am still here
note: Dumping is a term that is commonly associated with bariatric surgery. The pancreas releases too much insulin into the bloodstream. One can experience nausea, shaking, vomiting, cold sweats, fever…just to name a few symptoms.