I Drink Pee.

I’m kidding…its really just pickle juice.  I started drinking pickle juice when I was about seven years old.  Usually, I am very specific about my juice.  It’s gotta be cold.  It’s gotta be straight out of the jar (because that’s how real pickle juice drinkers roll, yo) and it’s gotta be Vlasic Kosher Dill Flavor.  I have tried other pickles, but no matter how good the other brand claims to be, it’s just not the same…just like every chocolate cookie with white filling ain’t an Oreo or will taste like one.  Unfortunately, my love for Vlasic pickles has gotten me into a little bit of a pickle.  Get it?  Ok, I admit…that was lame.  Anyway, after my colon stopped working properly, my doctor told me to stop drinking pure water for two reasons.  Reason 1…I get very nauseous and very bloated within minutes.  Not pretty.  Reason 2…water has no calories, and since every liquid I ingest is supposed to have calories, pure water is simply not an option even if it didn’t make me sick.  I was told to replace water with Gatorade.  Ugh!  I have tried almost every flavor of Gatorade, Powerade, Vitamin Water…and even Pedialyte, and I just can’t get past the taste and have yet to finish an entire bottle.  It never occurred to me that the solution was right under my nose the entire time.  This is where pickle juice comes into the picture.  After doing a little research, I found out that pickle juice is very similar to Gatorade.  It has electrolytes like Gatorade, it hydrates like Gatorade…it does have fewer calories than Gatorade…but it tastes better to me than Gatorade…and that’s more important than a measly 50 calories.  So, here’s why I am in a pickle.  Get it?  Ok, that’s still lame.  Since I started drink pickle juice (cut with a little water) about 3 to 4 times a week, I am starting to look like a glass jar pickle hoarder!  I hate the idea of throwing away perfectly good pickles after I drain all the juice…but damn…I might have to…cause pickles are everywhere!  My kids like pickles…but even they are tired of me asking, “Do you want a pickle? Are you sure you don’t want one?  They’re really yummy!”  Today when I packed their lunches, I almost felt bad as I nestled a pickle spear next to their juice box because I know they are tired of pickles.  I already know it will come back…uneaten.  So, after they left for school, unknowingly carrying yet another dreaded pickle in their lunch boxes, I got on the computer.  Thank goodness for Google…because I found a company who actually makes and sells pickle juice.  Just the juice…can you believe that?!  Bob’s Pickle Pops are 2 ounce individualized packets of pure pickle juice which would be perfect for me. So, even though I got mad love for Vlasic, I’m tired of all the leftover pickles and so are my kids…so I’m going to place an order.  For the kids sake, I hope they taste good because if they don’t, I’m gonna have to think of some creative ways to use pickles…I wonder if vanilla ice cream with green pickle sprinkles tastes good?  Hmmm…


5 thoughts on “I Drink Pee.

  1. Does drinking the pickle juice do anything else for your body healthwise? I also enjoy drinking pickle juice and this made me wonder if there are any benefits to drinking it. *I actually fill little plastic cups and make “pickle-cicles” with my juice! It’s delicious!*

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