I like to talk. A lot. I even…talk to myself. Seriously. And in a Cockney accent. Don’t ask. I have been doing it…since I was like, um, 6! Anyway…I talk to people at parks, grocery stores and even the fast food drive-thru. I have even carried on full conversations with toll booth operators…even though cars were behind me ( Side note: I haven’t done this in a long time due to the excessive amounts of people flipping me off, and in MY defense, it wasn’t entirely MY fault that your ass was late to work.) Anyway.
Lately, I’ve had some things on my mind. Usually, I would vent and talk someone’s ear off or blog about it, yet for some reason, I felt compelled to be quiet. Weird for me. Quiet. Quietness. In doing this, I learned something important. Ironic, even. I always thought…the act of talking was loud, I mean it is, but in the last few days…I realized that SILENCE…can be so much louder. When you’re excited and happy AND it’s NOISY…you never hear how loud your heart beats. Never. You are too freakin overjoyed. But…when you’re scared…and you’re alone…AND…it’s REALLY quiet…you hear your heart…the sound of it beating…in your entire body. You hear every thump, every bump…every murmur. Magnified. Without a stethoscope. Man, it’s crazy! At first. But then…wow…it’s so enlightening…because it’s real, it’s truthful…and it’s honest. Just BREATHE. Cause you know…we’ve all been there one time or another. The Silence. You cry at the rawness. It hurts…it stings…like a razor blade cutting through flesh…it’s more than one can bare….but You know what?…You learn….something…about yourself. You are so strong! Silence brings clarity. Like Windex. You see clearer…You see the truth…You see the sparkle. Silence. Silence brings humbleness. It doesn’t care about money or fame. You are so…alone. Like Tom Hanks. Specifically, like Tom Hanks in Castaway. Remember…when he lost Wilson?…that wonderful volleyball…who was his friend? You did see Castaway, right? Omg! If you haven’t seen Castaway…you missed out on a treat. It was a great movie. Really. Anyway. Back to me. This is about me. This is my blog…THIS is this life. MY life. MY LIFE! Wow, I said that, in all caps, you know why? Because my life is Important! I won’t give up…and I won’t give in…and I won’t stop with the ellipses….cause that’s how I roll yo…and I won’t stop…fighting for my heart….or happiness! I will fight for my life. I will BE happy…AND I will ALWAYS buy Windex…well, basically cause it does a really good job and doesn’t streak…but I digress. I will be heard. Whatever, happens. I will have a voice!
So…if by chance, I am in front of you, in the toll line…cut me me some freakin slack, I have a lot to say.
And I promise to cut my convo down to 1 minute flat.
PSYCH! (You need to get yo ass up earlier!) Yup!