Skinny Jeans…Omg…KILL ME!

Skinny Jeans.  Skinny Jeans on young women.  I can accept that…with a fake smile and a “I hate you Beeyotch” under my breath.  But, Skinny Jeans on young men AND they look better in them…than me? Nope.  I ain’t happy.  I am a Hater.  In the last two weeks, I have seen tons of dudes rockin the skinny jeans…which is not cool…given that, I am coming off the humbling experience of finding out…that I have been wearing “Mom Jeans.”…for a while.  Damn.   Anyway, I went out to buy some hip cool skinny jeans.  I was on a mission.  I got two pairs. One was a really pretty dark denim.  I liked them…but felt like a LOSER when I tried them on…um, WITH my shoes ON!  Amateur!  Yep, the whole foot and shoe got stuck in the skinny ankle part…but God Bless the sweet sales lady who said, “Do you need any help?”….Heck yeah!  I DO!!!…but…Um, No…I AM okay!…I said, as I thrashed around the dressing room…um, can you say…FAIL.  The second pair was a lighter denim.  One step away from acid washed.  Omg!  NO.  On a barely 5’1 person…light denim, makes you look like a 12-year-old, trying to relive the scenes in the original Footloose….which was really good…and shouldn’t have been made into a sequel…Fall 2011…Sorry, Julianne Hough and Kenny Wormald…I think you both are great…but Kevin Bacon was kinda fabulous…kinda.  I finally settled on the dark denim…they are hip and cool and they will look FABULOUS under some black leather knee-high boots.  Yep.  I still got it!  I might not be able to rock the 5’1 skinny jean with the flat look…but with some boots…I am a DIVA!  Yep, I said in it all caps!  so, take that…you skinny man in the perfectly fitted skinny jeans…that I saw at the grocery store…I hope your pound of hamburger you bought…was spoiled.  No, Hamburger Helper for you tonight!!!!  Ha Ha Ha…okay…I totally sounded evil in my head…and totally love every minute of it  🙂