Voices

Sometimes they are soft, like rich cashmere between my fingers-
Sometimes they are loud, like the screams on a fast rollercoaster-
Sometimes they are hidden….and I seek them out…if only for comfort sake-
Sometimes they are so “in my face” that I turn away because they are so close-
I am not crazy.
I am not manic.
I am not on drugs.
I am human.
I have feelings.
I am like you.
The voices tell me all kinds of things.
Some of their words are kind.
You are Nice. Sweet. Funny.
I smile at first..then I cock my head…
because…I can’t trust them…
Because
Then
They turn on me…
They turn Unkind…
They whisper…
You can’t do it alone. You are not strong enough. You just CAN’T!
I shake my head…furiously…
Trying to get them to STOP!
STOP
Please, give me strength…I look up towards the sky…
Please!
I Breathe…
And wait…
Waiting for the ONE voice to tell me…it will be okay…
It is Distant… And very Faint.
But I do hear it…
And that gives me hope…Hope enough that I can DO IT and will make it!
It may take a while…But I will do it-
And when I do…
I will smile
I will smile BIG
I will have conquered them…all…every voice
UNTIL
The only one I hear is…
Is
MY
OWN
VOICE!
And it will be the one I trust…and then I will finally be at peace…

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