What is Gastroparesis?

So Toasty

I sit on the counter
Cold
Waiting for your touch
To warm me up
You come in
I am excited

Oh, no!
You grabbed the cereal
No toast today!

Damn…

The Life of a Toaster

Not Feelin’ These Buns :(

I have a lot of love for this particular baking company (cuz they make some very good cookies) BUT dayum, these onion hamburger buns that they make, well, look…gross.  I’m sure they taste good (and I do admit, they felt baby butt soft) but I just can’t get into any bun that looks like it got “smooshed” with some picnic ants.

Bust Da Bubble

Little cute creatures
Stuck in a bubble cocoon
I need to save them

Bubble Mania (which is a free game on my iphone & ipad) should be renamed Bubble Maniac because that’s what I feel like, a total maniac! I haven’t been this obsessed over a game since CafeWorld. That was a rough couple of weeks months for me. I don’t know what was worse…creating fake Facebook friends so that I could have “neighbors” or the fact that I would actually set my alarm clock for 3 AM, so my fake food dishes wouldn’t burn in the oven. So sad. Anyway, this is totally different because I know deep down that those poor lil cute innocent trapped things NEED my help.

They…Just…Do…

Boo-yah!…three stars on level 26…in yo face!
Omg, this is so sad…

Rotating Hot Dogs

Dear 7 Eleven,
I like your Slurpees
Probably a billion sold
But why do you always
Have hot dogs that look old?

 

Big Boy’s Booty

Breakfast Buffet Haikus

Enjoying the time
Over buttered toast and tea
Breakfast with my Mom

Lemon in my tea
Sugar makes it sweet for me
I drink it glee

My bacon is burnt
Crispy but yet so tasty
Poor little piggy

I hate to tell you
But there is apple jelly
Smeared there on your chin

Muffins and coffee
They are good just not for me
Cuz I want a steak

I usually only see my Mom a couple of times of year, so it’s a real treat to spend time with her   Today’s breakfast time was enjoyable and will be as memorable as those hash browns that were perfectly fried in lard.  Love ya Mom!

Wowza, you got a BIG Tator…

Dear Jason’s Deli,

Thank you for taking a dud
And making it a stud
Add some chili & cheese
And some onion, please
I only paid a buck seven
For a lil piece of heaven

Thank you
Jason’s Deli
For making my night, pretty dayum good

Yours faithfully,
Kat

I’m Gonna Boil You…If You Don’t…

Stop staring at me.
But then again, I did challenge him to a staring contest. But now it’s getting creepy. Uncomfortably creepy. It’s been like 6 minutes. Look away! Or I will buy you & boil yo @ss. I don’t even eat lobster (due to having a pet crayfish…too much of a resemblance.)
BUT I will…just out of spite.
Oh, and dip you in garlic butter…
But I’m a good sport. And even though I knew he didn’t want his picture taken (his expression was like…Really?”) I snapped his picture because I wanted to give him props for winning.
So congratulations…Mr. Lobster. Today, you won.
Although, I seriously doubt you will be around next week to play another round

My Tummy Anniversary

Tomorrow I will celebrate
Four years without a stomach
Sometimes I want to cry
Not because of the loss of an organ
But because I can’t have chocolate cake
Anymore
Silly…but True
Chocolate cake with chocolate icing

I am so grateful for my life
I am grateful for another year
Thank you

But…
Damn I miss that
Chocolate cake
With chocolate icing