Super Pooper to the Rescue

Today my doctor weighed me
My eyes peeked down to see
I weighed one hundred and twenty-six
Up from one hundred and twenty-three
I really don’t get upset at all
Because I know the deal
My freakin colon is holding on
To every undigested meal
He asks how I’m doing, so I told him about the Fleet
As I lie back on the table and put up my socked feet
I said that crap didn’t work…yup; it really didn’t work at all
And how I sat on the bathroom floor and didn’t do anything but bawl
He reassured me with a gentle smile, as he felt along my bloated pelvis
I asked him if he thought my colon was like the one found in Mr. Elvis
He chuckled as he helped me up and said…You sure are a tough little trooper
I told him “Thanks” but all I wanted was to be…a really super good pooper